Posted November 19th, 2011 at 06:54 AM by Lois
So you may be thinking of leaving your church because you believe they are unhealthy, abusive, or you are no longer in agreement with some teachings. How should you go about this? There is a huge difference between leaving an unhealthy church and a healthy one.
First, some become over worried about how their exit may affect those remaining and what will be said about them. Unfortunately, in an unhealthy church you can almost never leave in a way that would cause people not to talk. I know it can hurt, but realize people are going to talk, even tell lies. There isn't anything you can do to stop that, so learn to rest in the fact that you know the truth about your exit and so does God. You will be spinning your wheels if you run around, trying to put out all the little fires caused by people's tongues.
As to those remaining, trust that God will take care of them. Yes, your leaving may hurt some, cause some to question, even cause some to shun you or think ill of you. You cannot stay for others. This is your walk with God, not theirs. You should do what you feel God is showing YOU to do. Think of your own well being. If God opened your eyes to what is unhealthy and/or abusive or to erroneous teachings, He can do the same for your friends and family. Just understand that they may not be at the same place as you and may not be for months or even years down the road.
Don't try to pull anyone out with you when you leave. You may cause more harm than good. Take care in how much you tell current members with regard to why you are leaving or have left- and how you say it. Make sure you leave with a good conscience and guard your own heart- don't do things you will later regret. It is one thing for people to tell lies about your leaving, but it is another to have to live with doing things you know you know you ought not to have done.
Over the next several days I will share some other areas about leaving that are important.