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Posted November 15th, 2011 at 09:30 AM by Lois
Sometimes one of the hardest things for some who leave an unhealthy church, is to acknowledge that despite the abuse or wrong teachings, there were good things and experiences that happened at their old church. When a former member can admit this, it is evidence of their healing process.
People leave with hurts and damage ranging from very mild all the way to very extreme. Some are quite angry at first and may lash out at anything about their church. These people need to be able to openly express their feelings to a point, something that often is not allowed in unhealthy churches.
Usually as time goes on and they learn about what happened, you start to watch their transformation from this into one of healing. And being able to see that there were good times and things, along with the bad, is a definite sign that the healing process has taken hold.
Unless a person was involved in an extreme situation, they really did have some good things happen during their involvement. And even in extreme cases, there is often something good that took place. They may have made lifelong friends, had some good teachings, enjoyed times of fellowship, and so forth. Seeing and acknowledging these things does not set aside the fact that they were hurt and damage occurred.
If you find yourself regularly lashing out in anger toward your former church or group, please find a safe place to work through all the issues. It is one thing to disagree with doctrines and point out abuses which happened, but it is different when you are in anger mode much of the time. Healing is available.
The spiritual abuse website offers a safe place for people to discuss, share, heal and encourage others along the way. Even sometimes get free books and media that may be helpful. This is a link that will take you to a page that explains more about the online support group. Don't allow your former bad church experience to continue to have a negative effect on your life.
http://www.spiritualabuse.org/ck/supportgroup.html
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