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This blog will contain some insight for those who have experienced spiritual abuse and will also hopefully help to educate those who would like to learn about it.
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Being Subject One To Another- Including Ministers

Posted December 7th, 2011 at 07:47 AM by Lois
Here is a biblical principle every Christian needs to learn- we are to be subject one to another. That includes people in leadership positions. That includes ministers and pastors. It means every Christian. I do believe God calls people to be ministers and also gives them authority if He calls them to pastor. And at the same time, every believer has authority from God.

God doesn't love those in the ministry more than He does all other believers. There is no big me and little you in the body of Christ. We are all fitly joined together by God's Spirit. Ministers simply have been given an ability or gift from God, just as EVERY believer has gifts and callings of God. A pastor is no more important to God than the person who is an encourager. There is so much that could be said on this matter.

In this authority (remember we must consider the *whole* of what God's Word teaches on a subject and not just shout out "obey them...!"), God also said no one was to lord over another. That's not how God wants the Church to work. There is a difference in being a shepherd, a guide, as compared to demanding and lording over people. It is the latter that is evidenced in unhealthy churches.

A true pastor, one with the heart of a servant, does not need to shout he has authority, nor flaunt it. He does not lord it over church members. Instead of demanding that everyone be in subjection to him, he allows himself to be in subjection to members- just as all members are to be in subjection to one another.

Liken it to a marriage. After the fall, God placed the husband over the wife. Yet his authority doesn't translate to dictatorship and lording over his wife. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. The wife is to respect her husband. If everyone exhibits their mutual subjection one to another, the marriage operates as it should. The husband may have the final say in some matter, for instance, but he also listens to and considers the input of his wife, having her welfare in mind.

Understand that true biblical authority is not what you have encountered and heard about in unhealthy churches. It's not about blindly doing whatever the pastor says. It's not about the pastor saying you cannot go to some other church. It's not about ruling with an iron first. It's so very, very different from all of that. If ministers have the heart of a servant, as they should, they will not be abusive. If they do not, they should not be pastoring.
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Posted in Fear, Scare Tactics
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Substituting Church For Jesus: Where Is Your Identity Found?

Posted December 6th, 2011 at 10:13 AM by Lois
Have you substituted church for Jesus? Are you so caught up in church activities that you have forgotten what being a Christian is about?

Many times these things happen to those who have become involved in unhealthy churches. They may start off well, but slowly lose their focus. Where are you today? Has your life become all about church and programs and pleasing the pastor/leadership?

I remember how it was different for me in the beginning of my time in the UPC. I remember feeling good and soaking things in and having a joy. I had started my walk with God before I ever set foot in their church. I had started to read the Bible at home and repented....saw my need to be water baptized, and that is how I started my time in that organization.

But after awhile things changed. My main focus, which should have been on Jesus, changed. It became about church, the multiple activities there, the fellowship there, in doing things and being involved in the church and so forth. It didn't happen overnight and I wasn't catching that a shift was taking place. There were all the regular services (3 a week), prayer meetings, the Ladies Auxiliary meetings, other committee meetings, making crafts or baking goods to sell for fund raisers, time spent on other fund raisers, door knocking, eating out after services, cleaning the church, doing things to help the pastor....the list is long.

I don't believe there are too many who go this route knowing what is happening and charge ahead anyway. It is a slow process and often while we are yet involved, we don't realize what happened to our focus.

I know I came to see doing things for the church as doing things for the Lord. But that wasn't always how it actually was. Life now revolved around church, not Church (note the capital c- there is a difference). Not necessarily God, but the building and all that went on inside and with special services elsewhere. You get so busy doing and going, that it is what your life revolved around.

This thought made me think about all the writings (as well as sermons) I have seen and heard through the years, where people speak of Pentecost. It is Pentecost this and Pentecost that. Pentecost birthed them. And I know this happens in other denominations. It becomes about the group one is joined to. Jesus is still mentioned, but the focus turns to other things, like your Apostolic Identity, for instance. Our identity is to lie in Jesus Christ, and in Him alone- not in Pentecostalism, Methodism, Lutheranism or anything else.
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Posted in Experiences
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Pastors- Secure Your Continual Leadership... Just What We Don't Need

Posted December 5th, 2011 at 08:54 AM by Lois
I had to pass this along after running into it online the other evening. I shook my head in disbelief when I saw it. There is a ministry now to help pastors "secure your continual leadership role within the local church with Apostolic By-Laws." You read it right. It takes away all voting rights of members and puts the pastor in complete control. It was ummm.... enlightening skimming the site.

This so-called Apostle's church affiliation, is some prophetic type of Pentecostalism and he held license with the AOG. The wife is a so-called Prophetess. He will help churches write or re-write their by-laws to make the church a 'theocracy' and give the pastor full power. And for a cost of just under $1300! I believe for an additional cost, you can have this self-proclaimed Apostle and his other ministry be the church or pastor's 'covering.' Just what unhealthy churches need- a way to ensure a pastor holds full power and control!

I also found basically the same site, without the apostle and prophetess titles at churchby-laws.com. I don't think by the use of 'apostolic,' that they mean what organizations such as the UPC mean.


The link where this by-law kit is found is: http://www.apostolicbylaws.com/home
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Let Me Off The Roller Coaster!

Posted December 4th, 2011 at 09:02 AM by Lois
Roller coasters- a lot of people love taking rides on all kinds of roller coasters. There's the smaller and more mild ones for the younger ones or those starting out. Then there are the huge ones with all types of twists and going upside down, that test how well you can hold down your food, lol.

But there is another roller coaster ride that isn't fun but is frustrating and never ending: It is the performance trap roller coaster found in unhealthy churches. When you board this ride, they don't let you off and it takes away your joy.

When people attempt to earn their righteousness or somehow earn favor or acceptance with God through their actions, they will always struggle. That is because it simply cannot be done. We either accept by faith the righteousness God gives us or we attempt to earn it ourselves. And since we are imperfect people and we often mess up and fall short, we will never feel complete and lasting peace attempting to follow God in this manner. Worse yet, all our efforts are in vain as we cannot make ourselves righteous.

When you fail, you feel badly and feel maybe God will reject you or think less of you. Then maybe you have a good day or service and feel better. But all too soon the down side comes again as you don't live up to the performance expected. It's a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. And many often wonder if they will even make it to heaven.

This is not what a Christian life is supposed to be like. Our salvation is not based upon our performance, but upon the completed work of Jesus on Calvary. He paid the full price for all our sins and mess ups. There is nothing we can do to achieve what He already accomplished. And there is nothing you can do to cause God to love you or love you more. He already loves you. He expressed that love when Jesus paid the price you owed for your sins. Yes, even before you were born, He saw ahead and loved you.

There is hope outside of the performance trap roller coaster ride. There is life- more abundant life in Christ!
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Posted in Experiences
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Oneness Pentecostal Snake Handlers

Posted December 3rd, 2011 at 06:22 AM by Lois
Remember hearing about snake handling in some churches? Recently there were some old pictures of it for sale on eBay and there was a mention in the ad about Oneness Pentecostal.

I didn't know about it until recently, but there is even a Oneness Pentecostal snake handling book out. To my knowledge, it has only been Pentecostal type churches who have practiced this.


Here is the link to the book, which isn't well edited: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...iritualab0c-20
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Posted in Experiences
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