Lois

I want to ramble some and share some thoughts.

We have always allowed members to vent to a certain point. Some need to in part because they've never had the freedom to do so. Yet there also comes a time when you need to forgive and move forward and let go of the bitterness and anger.

To allow bitterness to remain, will only hurt the individual that holds onto it and it will negatively affect other areas of their life. It does no good to remain bitter for years and to cling to past offenses. It does absolutely nothing to the person or persons who hurt you. So, in effect, one is allowing themselves to continue to be influenced and harmed by another when they remain bitter. Don't do that to yourself.

We all have a choice in our recovery. We can choose to remain stagnant and allow the past to continue to influence us negatively today and tomorrow and the rest of our lives. Or, we can choose to deal with what happened, free ourselves from bitterness, and move forward in life.

We also need to learn to separate the error we've been taught from the truth of God's Word. For instance, God's Word never teaches that one cannot take medicine. So no one had to choose between God and taking medicine because God never said they couldn't take it. A person said it. A person who distorted the Bible. Not God.

It is imperative for people who have been hurt in churches that distorted the Bible and how God is, to learn the difference between truth and error. Just because a minister says something, it doesn't make it true. Just because an entire organization teaches something, it doesn't make it true. We must separate the error from the truth and see the error for what it is and not continue to associate it with God and His Word and blame God for it.

We each have a choice here- we can remain in the past and our hurts and go on for the rest of our lives reliving the times when others have hurt us and the teachings that messed us up and hindered us in our walk with God. We can remain a victim. We can continue to believe the error and live a life of bondage because of it. Or we can do something about our healing, growth, and moving out of that rut.

We can only help you here if you want to be helped. If you want to remain a victim and want to remain bitter, we cannot help you and you're in the wrong place.

Do you want healing? Do you want freedom from bitterness? Do you want to separate error from truth?

Or do you want to continue to allow past wrongs and error to influence your life today in a negative manner?

The choice is left to each of us and we cannot blame others for the choice we make in this.

Lois

Some people have become upset with me when I have shared the importance of forgiveness. One can get a wrong mindset when they have been hurt in a church setting and feel the offended must come to them and admit their wrong or ask for forgiveness first before they should forgive them. This is far from the truth.

This issue of forgiveness is one that periodically has been difficult to discuss on our support group. There are many who have come this way who are pretty hurt and at the time the poster feels there is no way they can forgive.

I believe that forgiveness as a Christian is not an option. Yes, that means no matter how hurt one was. Yes, that means even if the hurt was deliberate and with intent. Jesus taught that we must forgive and if we refuse to forgive, then our own sins will not be forgiven.

We could look at this subject from a few angles. Jesus did not die for just some people's sins. He took upon Himself the sins of all humanity. He paid the full price for those sins. And if we will allow Him into our lives, He washes us clean from any and all wrongdoing we did- past, present, and future.

So, who are we to tell anyone they cannot be forgiven? We didn't pay the price, Jesus did. We didn't even pay the price for our own sins. If it were not for the grace of God, would we not have many sins we'd for which we'd have to give account? Because of this, who are we to withhold forgiveness?

Remember when Jesus told those who had caught the woman in adultery that whoever was without sin, that person could cast the first stone to have her killed as the law allowed. There was only one there who could have started the stone throwing, and that was Jesus. We all have been in need of forgiveness. We have all been in need of mercy. We should then extend this to those who have wronged us.

Another angle- if we refuse to forgive and desire to harbor unforgiveness in our hearts, doesn't that person(s) yet have control or influence over us? Things like this do affect us, whether or not we realize it. Why allow what someone else did to continue to adversely affect you?

Forgiving doesn't mean it didn't or doesn't hurt. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to trust the person again. Forgiving doesn't mean allowing yourself to be used over and over. Forgiving doesn't mean that the person does not have possible consequences to face.

Forgiving releases that person from you and also releases you from that person if you can follow what I mean.

It greatly angers me at times when I see what the system has done to people. But that doesn't mean I hate the people in it or that I do not forgive them. Many people there do things because they are only doing what they know to do. Many have no idea how they hurt people. Many have no idea the error they teach.

I know how I changed while I was involved. I know how judgmental I could be at times. I needed...

Lois