Someone in an unhealthy church may ask a question like this:
Why did God find me in a UPC church if the teachings are wrong? What is so wrong now that was not wrong then? Why after all of these years do I have questions that rock the foundation of everything I have been taught and believe?
In responding, I could counter with, did God actually find you in a UPC church? God was drawing you to Himself well before you stepped foot in a UPC church. The type of church doesn't matter. Where you were when you let God into your life doesn't matter. They really have no bearing on you and God as our walk is a one on one relationship with Him. God could just have easily met with you in a vacant field or a hot desert. See what I mean?
When we first come to God, we are overjoyed. We want to do anything and everything. We are not looking for things wrong. We may not even have any knowledge of the Bible or very little to know how to discern between true and false teachings.
So, did your church change? Was it different in the beginning? My guess is no. But your perception of it has changed. You are no longer in the beginning happy stages where you may have been ready to do anything and everything leadership in the church may have said without question. You've now matured. You've gained knowledge.
When someone in the UPC starts to question teachings, no matter what they may be, it often does feel like their foundation is being shaken- and in reality, it is. But if your foundation is based upon man's things, then you need it to be shaken, even though it doesn't feel very good and can be quite scary.
I have found through my own experience, as well as listening to a great many people who have left the UPC or other apostolic churches, that God often uses some incident to cause the person to start to look objectively into a matter. What that something is varies greatly. It may or may not have anything directly to do with the teachings themselves.
For me, it started when I helped at the church run day care for the second time. Events that happened over several months helped cause me to feel that if things didn't change, I'd be leaving the church.
I ended up resigning my teaching position at the end of the summer program and went away for a few weeks and spent some time with UPC friends in the ministry who knew how things could be at my church. (It has often helped me to go away somewhere while thinking things over.)
When I returned, I heard all kinds of things about a tape recording that the pastor played in a Thursday evening service. It was a Christian radio broadcast on spiritual abuse. The two guests were former members of the church. They didn't mention the church name or anyone's name in the church. His reason for playing it was so members could see what was being said about the church.
I asked to borrow the tape and found...