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This blog will contain some insight for those who have experienced spiritual abuse and will also hopefully help to educate those who would like to learn about it.
Fear Fear is always involved in an unhealthy church or group. It is used to keep people there and to get them to conform to the rules.
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Videos On Television

Posted August 24th, 2012 at 03:29 AM by Lois
These are three YouTube videos done by a former Pentecostal in Australia. He is not a Christian and there were a couple things I didn't like, but overall he did a nice job with these.

He also goes over some of the points made in the book, "The Subtle Power Of Spiritual Abuse."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5efYlPLKMg




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2whznvArJ18




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pROvFTmthP4

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A Warped View of God

Posted January 6th, 2012 at 07:21 AM by Lois
"I swear on my soul, that if these men are speaking for God, I would rather spend eternity in hell than serve him. How are you supposed to love the God they represent? Unconditional Love? yet contradicted... Grace? yet contradicted..."

"Because all of that junk had completely clouded my view of Jesus, and I didn't even know who he was anymore. Was he the harsh judge that was just waiting for me to show I wasn't "holy" enough so he could smite me? Was he the one that demanded absolute perfection? The one for whom nothing was ever enough?"

These are the feelings of two people who left their separate churches. Some find it hard to break from the erroneous view of God that they encountered while in an unhealthy church. Every time they see someone from their former group write about the group's beliefs or they read Bible passages that were distorted in their church, they wrestle with trying to break away from the harsh taskmaster they came to know. But this isn't the same Jesus portrayed in the Bible, but rather a false view of Jesus that arises from erroneous teachings and how these are taught and applied.

Erroneous teachings can indeed cloud your view of God. They can give one a very different and distorted view of God. The tragic aspect of this, and one I have seen all too often, are people who can see the error of at least some of the teachings and yet have not yet been able to break from this distorted view of God.

This is what happens in a performance based church and while things vary from one unhealthy church to another, the teachings lead to performance based religion. While many will not say, for instance, that following outward standards is salvational, they will believe one is lost or at the least backslid if they don't adhere. So this actually makes them matters of salvation, whether or not it is specifically stated as such.

This is an excerpt of an email I received from a visitor to the spiritualabuse.org website. They are UPC and wrote: "WE strive to live Christ. Do we error? YES! But we try. There are some Pastor's who goes over board, but for the majority, it is just about trying to make heaven our home. Yes, some things seem extreme, but in comparison to eternity, it is the least we can do. Our dress and appearance is simple a safety protocol we take to assure our success in making heaven our home. I hope you give this some thought."

Take note of what was actually said. It's about trying to make it to heaven. It's about safety measures. It is not at all about trusting in the finished work at Calvary. I don't know how many posts I've read through the years where someone has written something like, "I'd rather be safe than sorry" concerning a teaching. And remember hearing church testimonies that said something like, "Pray for me that I will make it in?"
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Faith Without Works Is Dead

Posted December 10th, 2011 at 07:04 AM by Lois
Faith without works is dead. That is true. But does this Bible passage mean what unhealthy churches say it does, in equating works with their list of things a Christian must do to be saved?

We are saved because of what Jesus did for us by dying in our place. If works could have saved people, then the law that God put into place for the Jews would have accomplished this. The Bible is very vocal in that it did not.

Works, as mentioned in the book of James, are our actions. Faith without works is dead- not because works are essential to our salvation- but because if one has faith in God it will be evidenced by their actions. You can't have real faith with nothing to show for it. However, in those actions, there is no salvation made, kept or bought. They are simply a natural result of our faith in God.

Back in the early church, people wanted to add rules to be saved. This thought is nothing new. People seem to have a hard time accepting by faith that Jesus paid the price completely for their salvation. He said it was finished. People keep wanting to add conditions to our salvation. So let's look at the early church....

The second chapter of Galatians continues with Paul telling about his past. This is where he starts to show the Galatians the problem that false brothers caused with their false teachings.

Chapter 15 of Acts tells in more detail about what Paul shares happened in Jerusalem. I encourage you to take the time to read Acts 15. The men who came to Antioch from Judea, who were teaching that the Gentiles must be circumcised in order to be saved, had caused a sharp division. This division caused the believers to send a delegation of people, including Paul & Barnabas, to Jerusalem in order to consult with the apostles and other elders.

At the meeting, some proclaimed that the Gentiles must be circumcised and made to obey the law of Moses. There is lots of discussion and then Peter addresses them all, reminding them that God made no distinction between the Jews and Gentiles and purified the Gentile's hearts by faith. He then asks why they are trying to test God by making the Gentiles do what even the Jews could not follow? He states that they are saved through the grace of God.

James later shares similar thoughts and they decide to write a letter to the believers in Antioch, Syria & Cilicia that states they will not burden the Gentiles with anything more than four requirements. These are listed in verse 29 of Acts 15.

So things haven't changed and adding lists of things to do in order to be saved is hundreds upon hundreds of years old. The problem now is that Christianity has split itself into so many different groups that there is now no longer one place for people to go in order to sort out what isn't proper teaching. We can't send a delegation to Jerusalem to consult with the
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Being Subject One To Another- Including Ministers

Posted December 7th, 2011 at 07:47 AM by Lois
Here is a biblical principle every Christian needs to learn- we are to be subject one to another. That includes people in leadership positions. That includes ministers and pastors. It means every Christian. I do believe God calls people to be ministers and also gives them authority if He calls them to pastor. And at the same time, every believer has authority from God.

God doesn't love those in the ministry more than He does all other believers. There is no big me and little you in the body of Christ. We are all fitly joined together by God's Spirit. Ministers simply have been given an ability or gift from God, just as EVERY believer has gifts and callings of God. A pastor is no more important to God than the person who is an encourager. There is so much that could be said on this matter.

In this authority (remember we must consider the *whole* of what God's Word teaches on a subject and not just shout out "obey them...!"), God also said no one was to lord over another. That's not how God wants the Church to work. There is a difference in being a shepherd, a guide, as compared to demanding and lording over people. It is the latter that is evidenced in unhealthy churches.

A true pastor, one with the heart of a servant, does not need to shout he has authority, nor flaunt it. He does not lord it over church members. Instead of demanding that everyone be in subjection to him, he allows himself to be in subjection to members- just as all members are to be in subjection to one another.

Liken it to a marriage. After the fall, God placed the husband over the wife. Yet his authority doesn't translate to dictatorship and lording over his wife. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. The wife is to respect her husband. If everyone exhibits their mutual subjection one to another, the marriage operates as it should. The husband may have the final say in some matter, for instance, but he also listens to and considers the input of his wife, having her welfare in mind.

Understand that true biblical authority is not what you have encountered and heard about in unhealthy churches. It's not about blindly doing whatever the pastor says. It's not about the pastor saying you cannot go to some other church. It's not about ruling with an iron first. It's so very, very different from all of that. If ministers have the heart of a servant, as they should, they will not be abusive. If they do not, they should not be pastoring.
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The Way Of The Transgressor Is Hard!

Posted December 2nd, 2011 at 08:55 AM by Lois
You have left and now something bad has happened. Perhaps you had an accident, lost your job, have a financial problem or an affliction in your body. The words that you heard dozens of times echo in your mind, "The way of the transgressor is hard..."

Your former pastor would warn, sometimes with stories of things that allegedly happened, of what awaits the person who leaves. Of course they are considered backslid as they walked away from 'truth.' Oh, the tales of the auto accidents, even deaths, may ring in your ears. Perhaps they were right and you are backslid, maybe without hope.

It is interesting how, at times like these, you forget all the bad things that happened while you were there. In a post some days back, I shared: "I recall all kinds of bad things happening to people who were in the church. A house burned down, there were all kinds of vehicle and job problems, car accidents, financial problems, marriage problems and divorces, and people getting diseases with some dying. It would be an extensive list of woes if everything could be mentioned. Being a member of the church and being involved did not keep them from the things of life that can happen to anyone."

When bad things happened while you were in church, you would hear the pastor proclaim, "Many are the afflictions of the righteous...." or maybe, "The trying of your faith worketh patience...." The bad would happen because you were following God. Perhaps the devil himself was out to get you. The devil always seemed to be after the church and the people there. He seemed to get a lot of credit he didn't deserve. But that's another story.

If you had remained at your former unhealthy church and the same bad thing happened as is happening now, you wouldn't be thinking you were a transgressor. So why are you now? Have you walked away from God or have you simply walked away from a particular church? Have you walked away from God's principles or have you walked away from man-made doctrines?

Think about it. You had plenty of bad things happen while you attended, so why should it be any different because you left a church building? The rain falls on everyone alike. This is life and in life there will be things happen that are bad just because you are alive.
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