For 2 years my husband was mostly in military hospitals with only a few weekend passes and I was either in TLQs, staying with family or in rental homes where I could 'work out' the rent by fixing up the places. We had 3 small children and no paycheck b/c he wouldn't agree to sign a release for 'severance' pay even though they offered up to $200,000, which at that time was a small fortune. He was wise enough to know that in his condition that wouldn't last long---I was ready to take the money and take our chances --he was much wiser than I. Most weeks, our only income was $40 the Red Cross would give us for food. I spent $19 on Christmas that year, buying used FP toys and cleaning them with bleach --the kids thought it was a great Christmas. :)

Finally, after 2 years, the USAF put him on TDRL and gave us 2 years of 'back pay' which was several thousand dollars. We moved to the town we still live in b/c it was close to medical facilities and the climate and area was good for the disabled. We bought a house. Eventually, my husband was put on the permanent and totally disabled list and everything pretty much stabilized --still lots of medical junk going on even today, but life did become more normal and we had a nice income, free medical, benefits, etc.

After a long drama, we finally began to live again, albeit a very different life. Hiding his hip to foot brace under his pants and removable back brace under his shirt, few people were totally aware of my husband's condition; the kids were always a bit surprised when someone said something about him being disabled, they truly never realized he was. :)

For several years we went to a pretty normal UPC church. The pastor was originally from my home state of Ohio and for the most part wasn't a bad guy. There were a few incidents, like the time I developed numerous boils. I had never had a boil in my life and these were huge painful ones that put me in the hospital. The pastor in all seriousness told me 'some people' felt boils were a sign of sin in one's life. I am not kidding! We called him a 'Job's comforter' hahaha. One of the Drs. thought it might be something in the city water that I couldn't tolerate and we bought a water system for the house. The boils disappeared and even though we later moved and didn't have a water system, they never came back. We do drink bottled water and have a filter on the fridge though ---just don't ever want to go through that again!

There were upsets in the church and good friends left (we had no involvement and stayed) but things were never the same after --people became paranoid and things were always tense. We bought a nicer house in a better neighborhood and changed to a different, closer UPC church. We didn't ask for a letter and had no issues so were pretty much accepted at the new church, but it really didn't surprise me that we seemed to no longer exist for the friends left at the old church....

Nancy

So we left and headed back 'home' I again learned the meaning of "you can't go home again".

After being married 5 years we began to doubt we would be able to have children (there were real medical reasons for this) so we adopted a beautiful, blond, blue-eyed 5 year old problem child. :) We adored him and still love him but after years of problems, today he is 40, an alcoholic, generally homeless but that is an entirely different story. Then almost 3 years later, God blessed us with a beautiful baby boy. But back to the church stuff.

My dad was ALJC, so my husband applied for ALJC license and got them so now he was both an ALJC and a UPC general licensed minister. We did some evangelizing and I did a puppet ministry.

My husband really enjoyed outreach a lot more than pulpit ministry; I felt then and now that he was pushed into the ministry by an overly enthusiastic mother who wanted ALL her boys to be preachers. Anyway, the UPC evidently got wind of this guy with license in both organizations and after ignoring this town for 20 years, suddenly felt 'led' to start a UPC church there AND told my husband he would have to attend the UPC church or give up his license. He decided to give up BOTH licenses and joined the USAF --no kidding! Really the license thing was just one catalyst, we also had financial problems and since the town was small, we were occasionally running into our son's birth family so put it all together and another move seemed like a good thing to do.

He ended up in special forces on a base out west and I searched for a church. The ALJC was closest but something seemed off. (I soon learned that a couple years prior, the pastor had taken his teenage son to the woods and pretty much beaten him senseless.) I never saw this kid so he must have been put in foster care or something, along with an older sister I never saw. The only child they had then was an adorable little 2 year old boy that I pray didn't suffer the same fate.

So moving on, I went to the UPC church across town. They had a daycare sponsored by the state. The state also bought them some beautiful indoor playground equipment that took up most of the fellowship hall. The 'church' kids (with the exception of the pastor's kids) were NEVER to play on this equipment, even though we had several social church events in the fellowship hall with the kids all looking longingly at the play stuff.

Lots of weird stuff in this church; the pastor even had a problem with watches other than plain banded timex ones, LOL.

Two good things happened in this town, one is we were were again blessed with a beautiful baby, a girl (after this, my medical condition made it impossible to have any more children), and I met a friend at this church who would become a lifelong friend.

At this time, my husband was on duty 24/7 for 3 days and then home for 6 so we joined our...

Nancy

Ok, here goes our UPC story.

In the beginning, newly out of bible school and desperately wanting to work for God, we had several 'offers' to come help churches. We accepted one in Ohio but my husbands District Super uncle convinced us to come to another state and work the campground that summer--he would 'make it worth our while'. Sounded like fun--but it wasn't.

I was 6 months married and pregnant but didn't know it. I was exhausted but the uncle demanded I get up each morning and help clean and prepare the campground; I literally dragged myself through the tasks assigned, becoming more and more exhausted but still not knowing it was b/c I was pregnant and should be resting.

I worked blisters on my hands, had a sunburn, and at one point was stung multiple times by a nest of 'muddauber' wasps flying up my skirt while cleaning a bathroom. After a month, I miscarried on the 4th of July. I was left alone in a strange state, strange city, strange hospital, to watch the fireworks in tears from my hospital bed. My very young inexperienced husband was still 'working the camp' as demanded by his uncle.

When I got back to the camp, I couldn't call my parents b/c the uncle had a block on his phone (this was b/f cell phones). It was at least a week b/f I could let my mother know and by then I was very sick. Our conversation was in front of the uncle and aunt so I was very limited on what I felt comfortable saying and my parents had no idea what was really going on.

I would go sit in a very hot car with all the windows up trying to get warm (in this state small children and dogs died when forgotten in locked up cars) but nothing made me warm. The uncle's wife demanded I do my husband's laundry, so I literally dragged myself to the laundry room.

She washed uncle's white shirts after I finished and they came out with ink on them. She went into a rage and blamed me even though NONE of my husband's clothing had any ink on it. She demanded I 'clean' the washer and dryer of all the ink. I waited until everyone was gone and then actually crawled to the laundry and cleaned the machines.

I felt very alone and desperate. I ended up back in the hospital with an infection and finally got some medication to begin healing. When camps ended, I still wasn't completely well and we got an offer from a church a few hours away to come help.

The uncle gave us $100.00 for our summer at camp and 'very generously' another $100.00 that he said was 'under the table', oh and a bag of the disgusting yellow rice we had been eating all summer, along with a pound of butter.

We couldn't leave fast enough! (an aside) The uncle had adorable twin 2 year old daughters --he played teasingly with them until he was tired of it and then if they didn't stop immediately, he beat them with a belt. I cried as much as they did. Neither is in chuch today. He is dead....

Nancy

My story began a really long time ago with 2 grandmothers influenced by Bro Witherspoon and Bro Fresh and a very young S G Norris and other early oneness preachers. One grandmother was 'shouting her hair down' in a Methodist church prior to oneness and the other came into Oneness with my great grandmother. No grandfathers in the picture --they all died really young.

My great grandmother died in the parking lot of a oneness campmeeting; she had quit taking her heart medicine b/c this was a 'healing' camp meeting. My very young mother found her dead in the car. One of my grandmothers died in a car/train accident on her way to VBS --it was 2 blks away and I remember all the kids (I was 10) going to the alter to pray. My grandma and my best friend (a cousin just a couple of weeks older than me) were 2 who died in the accident. I still mourn the loss after 50 years.

So I am 3rd or 4th generation Oneness before there even was an ALJC or UPC and of course my dad was a preacher, as were some of his brothers. By the time I got here, it was ALJC for us but we had friends in the PA of W and some UPC, though in my area the ALJC and UPC were pretty strong rivals. We were the less strict but still plenty weird.

At one time, the Rambos went to our church and Bucky was our children's orchestra leader (I played the cymbals :) I remember Dottie's song 'Come Spring' was written for my grandmother or dedicated to her. Reba and I were fast friends. I remember Reba contracted meningitis and almost dying. They left around that time and became famous but of course were 'lost' :) We absolutely loved Dottie's singing --especially LAZERUS :) As a teenager, I sang a lot of her songs at district youth and fellowship meetings.

I grew up having a rare haircut, sometimes wearing pants and my mom even sold Avon at one time and put lipstick on both of us then- almost rubbed my lips raw getting it off b/f my dad came home LOL. I wore miniskirts as a teenager and had a page boy haircut and wore powder and mascara with no real consequences but I did not get 'saved' until I was 18 and in bible school (ABI).

I went to bible school b/c it was my mothers dream to go and she never had the chance (I just wanted to get away :) . On my application to bible school, I remember writing --"I am coming to find out if there is a god and if there is, I will serve him". I am sure S G Norris (then a much older man) got a kick out of that.

I was miserable at bible school --still had a page boy haircut and wore 'natural' makeup but felt like I was the only sinner among a bunch of young saints (this is too funny now but then I took it very seriously). I cried nightly and begged a close by friend of the family to come and take me home.

Of course, he called my parents and they called my preacher uncles who call S G and without me knowing the whole bible school began around the clock prayer...

Nancy

Here goes . . . . . We have not been to a UPC church for almost 2 months now. It seemed really easy at first but today has been stressful. I am again searching this site and others for information AND reading my Bible and praying. I still think we are doing the right thing but the fact that my whole life just changed is becoming clearer to me and that is a bit frightening. I am finding it is not just picking another 'kinder' church --it is really rethinking what I believe to be true, especially what doctrinal points. I really appreciate those who can post freely their thoughts and issues but I am not there yet; I have 60 years of issues, fear, worry, guilt, confusion, etc. Hopefully, I'll reach the joy before I die :) That's all I can do right now --thanks to all who posts, care, and pray for one another on this site!

Nancy