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YOU are the problem!

Posted November 4th, 2011 at 02:40 AM by Lois
There is no problem- you are the problem.

Ever been made to feel that way at a church or seen it happen to another? You bring to the attention of leadership a possible problem that you see, be it doctrine or something happening at church. You find that suddenly YOU have now become the problem.

How and why does this happen? The pastor, who is insecure and feels threatened, decides that there really isn't anything wrong, that it is simply YOU. You are rebellious, a trouble maker, trying to stir up strife or division, you are unteachable, backslid.... There are a number of possible reasons why YOU have become the problem. And he may bring these up in a sermon and preach hard against those that may question the pastor. Remember the she bears or when the earth opened up and all those people lost their lives? Or when some were hit with leprosy or the couple dropped dead before Peter? You don't want to find yourself in a similar situation!

And what does this switch do? It pretty much silences anyone else who may have had similar thoughts. It creates division as you are now suspect and perhaps should be avoided until you come to your senses and ask for forgiveness. It also can cause you to wonder if what the pastor said is true. Are you messed up? Are you being influenced by the devil? Is there a spirit of rebellion in you? Could God be planning your demise because you questioned the pastor?

Healthy churches allow and even welcome questioning and differing opinions. But if you are in an unhealthy church, you will quickly learn that those who bring attention to a problem will themselves become the problem.
Administrator
Comments 0 Lois is offline
Old

Ministers who don't keep confidences

Posted November 3rd, 2011 at 10:42 PM by Lois
Ministers who don't keep confidences. This is another sign of an unhealthy church. One should be able to counsel with a minister and know that what is shared will stay between them alone. Even the UPC, in its Manual of rules states, "When a minister receives information that is a privileged communication, the minister shall not divulge or repeat any part of such communication to any other person.." (unless required to by law or if the person waives the privilege)...

Yet some ministers use privileged information to shame and manipulate church members. They incorporate it into sermons. They share it with their wife and other family members. It may come out under the guise of a prayer request for the individual. They may even share private matters about members with people who don't even attend the church they pastor.

A minister is to have the heart of a servant. Using privileged information to shame, manipulate, humiliate, control or hurt people is a sign of an abusive individual who, though they may hold the title of a minister, they are not representative of Christ.
Administrator
Posted in Fear, Experiences
Comments 0 Lois is offline
Old

Distorted Vision

Posted November 2nd, 2011 at 02:00 AM by Lois
Have you ever put on another person's glasses and everything you looked at was distorted? What once was clear and sharp is blurred and hard to define.

When I was involved in the UPC, I sometimes looked into the beliefs of groups considered cultish and/or unhealthy, such as Mormonism. I could see the wrong things in other groups, but had not yet realized all the unhealthy aspects of what I was heavily involved in myself. Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees.

Many who leave unhealthy churches often better see the abuse and twisting of scriptures AFTER they have been out for awhile. While immersed in their former churches, they were seeing more through the group's glasses, so to speak. When those glasses start to be removed, many are amazed they didn't see things for what they were earlier.

If you are going through this stage, don't beat yourself up over it. It is hard to see clearly when you are looking at the Bible and church events through the group's glasses.
Administrator
Posted in Leaving, Questioning
Comments 0 Lois is offline
Old

Rapture Drills

Posted November 1st, 2011 at 08:22 AM by Lois
Rapture drills. Have you experienced them? Some children have been left traumatized by them, scared to death they may be left behind while their parents go to be with God.

Awhile back, I found on DVD the old series of movies from Mark IV pictures on the end times. Remember 'A Thief In The Night,' 'Distant Thunder,' etc.? I recall them being shown at my former UPC church. When I watched them once again more recently, they left me feeling much different this time. I no longer cared much for them.

I don't think people should be scared into following God. Yes, there is a time & place to teach about the lost and eternity and God's wrath. But shouldn't the message to those who do not know Jesus be about the Gospel- the death, burial & resurrection of Jesus Christ & what this means to them? Shouldn't the message be about a new life in Christ?

It is no wonder many have a distorted view of God when they hear more about hell, torment, being lost, and so forth, than they do about God's love and mercy and grace. Scaring people into following God isn't the way, whether that be through end times movies, rapture drills, threats concerning outward standards, tongues, hair or anything else.
Administrator
Comments 0 Lois is offline
Old

Questons with crazy answers

Posted October 29th, 2011 at 03:58 PM by Nancy
When I was young, I asked my (pastor's wife) mom
"Why do the most sinful people in the church speak in tongues and dance the most?"
answer: I guess God knows they need more strength so he blesses them more
"Why do people in other churches seem so much happier and nicer than our church people?"
answer: I guess the devil doesn't bother them so much since he knows they are already lost
Now that I am older than she was then, I am guessing my mom probably wondered the same things and was just trying to give me answers that would keep me in church and she probably did not know or didn't want to know the true answers herself.
So why are people not in UPC happier and nicer?? Because they are not in bondage; they are free to enjoy the joy of the Lord without condemnation. As for the dancing, tongue talking sinners, we all can guess what that answer should have been . . . . .
Formerly Bianca
Posted in Uncategorized
Comments 3 Nancy is offline

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