This blog will contain some insight for those who have experienced spiritual abuse and will also hopefully help to educate those who would like to learn about it. 
Leaving an Unhealthy Church: You & Those Who Remain
Posted November 19th, 2011 at 06:54 AM by Lois
So you may be thinking of leaving your church because you believe they are unhealthy, abusive, or you are no longer in agreement with some teachings. How should you go about this? There is a huge difference between leaving an unhealthy church and a healthy one.
First, some become over worried about how their exit may affect those remaining and what will be said about them. Unfortunately, in an unhealthy church you can almost never leave in a way that would cause people not to talk. I know it can hurt, but realize people are going to talk, even tell lies. There isn't anything you can do to stop that, so learn to rest in the fact that you know the truth about your exit and so does God. You will be spinning your wheels if you run around, trying to put out all the little fires caused by people's tongues.
As to those remaining, trust that God will take care of them. Yes, your leaving may hurt some, cause some to question, even cause some to shun you or think ill of you. You cannot stay for others. This is your walk with God, not theirs. You should do what you feel God is showing YOU to do. Think of your own well being. If God opened your eyes to what is unhealthy and/or abusive or to erroneous teachings, He can do the same for your friends and family. Just understand that they may not be at the same place as you and may not be for months or even years down the road.
Don't try to pull anyone out with you when you leave. You may cause more harm than good. Take care in how much you tell current members with regard to why you are leaving or have left- and how you say it. Make sure you leave with a good conscience and guard your own heart- don't do things you will later regret. It is one thing for people to tell lies about your leaving, but it is another to have to live with doing things you know you know you ought not to have done.
Over the next several days I will share some other areas about leaving that are important.
First, some become over worried about how their exit may affect those remaining and what will be said about them. Unfortunately, in an unhealthy church you can almost never leave in a way that would cause people not to talk. I know it can hurt, but realize people are going to talk, even tell lies. There isn't anything you can do to stop that, so learn to rest in the fact that you know the truth about your exit and so does God. You will be spinning your wheels if you run around, trying to put out all the little fires caused by people's tongues.
As to those remaining, trust that God will take care of them. Yes, your leaving may hurt some, cause some to question, even cause some to shun you or think ill of you. You cannot stay for others. This is your walk with God, not theirs. You should do what you feel God is showing YOU to do. Think of your own well being. If God opened your eyes to what is unhealthy and/or abusive or to erroneous teachings, He can do the same for your friends and family. Just understand that they may not be at the same place as you and may not be for months or even years down the road.
Don't try to pull anyone out with you when you leave. You may cause more harm than good. Take care in how much you tell current members with regard to why you are leaving or have left- and how you say it. Make sure you leave with a good conscience and guard your own heart- don't do things you will later regret. It is one thing for people to tell lies about your leaving, but it is another to have to live with doing things you know you know you ought not to have done.
Over the next several days I will share some other areas about leaving that are important.
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Quote:
You cannot stay for others. This is your walk with God, not theirs.
There's no real 'bad witness' in leaving. it's how a person leaves that can make a good or bad witness. And a witness is personal anyway, not for a church to look good or bad. As far as others being saved... God is big enough to reach those who want to be saved irregardless of where we go to church. Salvation isn't about going to a certain building anyway. It's about believing in Jesus. Since leaving, I've also been amazed to discover I've had more opportunity to witness than I did while attending my former church, because the church had such a bad name in the community. |
Posted November 19th, 2011 at 11:55 AM by mary
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