This blog will contain some insight for those who have experienced spiritual abuse and will also hopefully help to educate those who would like to learn about it. 
If only I had remained....
Posted November 5th, 2011 at 01:37 AM by Lois
If only I had remained in the UPC (or other church)....
People who have left and are going through a rough time sometimes think that, had they remained, this or that would not have happened. If they had stayed in the group, they wouldn't have lost their job or there wouldn't be family problems or..... They have forgotten that bad things happened while they were there. Old thoughts from sermons with twisted scriptures can have a hold on people for years if they do not deal with the issues from their involvement.
I recall all kinds of bad things happening to people who were in the church. A house burned down, there were all kinds of vehicle and job problems, car accidents, financial problems, marriage problems and divorces, and people getting diseases with some dying. It would be an extensive list of woes if everything could be mentioned. Being a member of the church and being involved did not keep them from the things of life that can happen to anyone.
In like manner, being out of the group, we need to understand that things will also happen. It is part of life. It doesn't mean God is after you and trying to get you to return to the unhealthy church. It doesn't mean you are lost or backslid. It doesn't mean you would have been safe from whatever happened had you remained. Take the time to look into the passages that were used to scare you and to understand the fear that permeates the teachings. If you do this and learn of how God really is, you will no longer have to fight such thoughts.
People who have left and are going through a rough time sometimes think that, had they remained, this or that would not have happened. If they had stayed in the group, they wouldn't have lost their job or there wouldn't be family problems or..... They have forgotten that bad things happened while they were there. Old thoughts from sermons with twisted scriptures can have a hold on people for years if they do not deal with the issues from their involvement.
I recall all kinds of bad things happening to people who were in the church. A house burned down, there were all kinds of vehicle and job problems, car accidents, financial problems, marriage problems and divorces, and people getting diseases with some dying. It would be an extensive list of woes if everything could be mentioned. Being a member of the church and being involved did not keep them from the things of life that can happen to anyone.
In like manner, being out of the group, we need to understand that things will also happen. It is part of life. It doesn't mean God is after you and trying to get you to return to the unhealthy church. It doesn't mean you are lost or backslid. It doesn't mean you would have been safe from whatever happened had you remained. Take the time to look into the passages that were used to scare you and to understand the fear that permeates the teachings. If you do this and learn of how God really is, you will no longer have to fight such thoughts.
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