Patrick & Diana Massengale's UPC Experience

The following letter was sent to a former UPC member who shared their experience on the web site. A copy was sent to me so that it could also be shared with others.

I felt strongly compelled to write to you after reading your letter on the spiritualabuse.org web site. My wife came home tonight talking about this site and couldn't wait to share it with me. I'm really glad she did. I am third generation UPC but before you get the wrong idea, I'm not UPC anymore.

We have friends in the Global Ministries Organization who have helped us to finally begin to see for ourselves what the scriptures really say with respect to "holiness standards"...or rather, what they don't say. We've both always been taught not to question those in authority and to blindly believe what we are taught. We are also told about how other churches, such as the Catholic church, just tell their saints what to believe and don't encourage them to read for themselves. Well, the UPC churches are somewhat the same in that they "interpret" for you what they want you to believe rather than encourage you how to learn for yourself.

I struggled with the legalistic views of the UPC church for many years and found myself in and out of church over the last many years. Now granted, I have nobody to blame but myself. My grandfather was a Texico district Pentecostal Pioneer. Not only did he start many churches, but he physically built them. He was a carpenter by trade. My wife was raised along with her sister by a God-fearing mother after their father left while they were approaching their teenage years. They grew up in a very legalistic church as well.

We both met in 1984, dated three and a half years and married in August of 1987. We have been married over 11 1/2 years. During this time, we have struggled both with each other, God and our spiritual understanding of what God wanted for us. I moved us from West TX to Albuquerque, NM with my wife in early 1995. We left, what I consider to be an outstanding church and one that I still truly love, but it is still a UPC church.

We began attending a church here in Albuquerque, Bethel Heritage Church (formerly a UPC church). This same church was pastored by my grandfather many years ago and carries a rich heritage for me. I have many family and friends attending this church. This is the kind of church to which you have referred in your letter that you are actively seeking out. You said you were looking for a church that was non-judgmental and non-legalistic. Well, there are those who are dyed-in-the-wool UPC types here in this church that believe in the old ways, but even they are beginning to have their eyes opened and the scales removed, slowly.

This does create a bit of a peculiar situation within the church. However, the pastor here believes that when you come to God and God starts working on you from the inside, whatever changes that need to take place, if any, will naturally do so with God's prompting and in God's time as you allow Him. The outside doesn't really matter if the inside isn't right. This is his rather simple approach.

We are experiencing growing pains in our church, both in numbers and in spiritual beliefs changes with respect to the legalism referred to in the spiritualabuse.org web site. I have had to fight with family on both sides because they believe we are in error and are backslidden. My poor dear wife struggles continually with the condemnation she faces from her own family because she is "different" and not doing as she "knows" she should.

I find it rather amusing and yet sad at the same time that certain family members won't have a television in their home but yet when they come out to visit us, and we truly enjoy them being here, they sit and watch television hours on end. I hear of horror stories about things that go on in their home church in Arizona as to how they "get into trouble" for not letting their pastor know at all times where they are and for not letting him know ahead of time every time they will not be at church. This is dictatorship, plain and simple.

Did God not die for our sins and for our freedom? Did he not want us to be released from captivity? Did he not intend for us to have a choice? If he didn't want us to have a choice then he would surely have just made us a bunch of puppets. But, God loved us and gave us our freedom to make up our own minds. He said to work out your own salvation, WITH FEAR AND WITH TREMBLING. He didn't say to be subject to a dictatorship. He did say to submit ourselves, this is true but only in guidance, not absolute dictatorship. It is still our responsibility, ultimately, to make the decisions concerning salvation. Dictatorship is completely contrary to God's wanting us to be able to make our own choices.

There are churches, and our family I'm speaking of belongs to one of them, that even forbids its youth from associating from the other UPC. Yes, that's right, other UPC churches in the area because they aren't "Holy" enough and they don't live up to the standards taught in their own church. Can you believe that? They are taught to be judgmental of other churches and the pastors who guide those churches. What are they teaching their youth?

Well, our church doesn't preach against television, organized sports, co-mingling with other churches, or things of that nature. They also do not teach the traditional Holiness standards. It is so refreshing to actually hear our pastor talk about the plans he has for the growth of the church, which directly involves activities with other churches from various organizations, including sports. Our choir has attended and had the opportunity to bless other churches. Our church has also invited in other church choirs and talent to join us. Our church even has offerings that are held to specifically give to other churches in the area who are in need. It is great to see how these churches, our included, are becoming "one" spiritually in our community. After all, isn't the goal to reach the lost? What better way than to get ourselves into spiritual shape or freedom and stronger by learning how to accept those who might be a little different than ourselves.

I just want to encourage you, if you would like, to contact us and we will put you into contact with someone who might be able to help you find a similar type of church in your area. We belong to the "Global Ministries Organization." This includes MANY ex-UPC ministers who have come out of the darkness and into HIS marvelous light. I feel much lighter in my spirit after having read the spiritualabuse.org site and the many encouraging and inspirational letters of hope like yours.

May God Bless you for your efforts and for being willing to share yourself. Please let us know if we can help. I'm not sure if I adequately conveyed what I set out to but I think I've written enough for now. I pray that God leads you where he wants you.

Love in Christ,

Patrick & Diana Massengale

Posted May 11, 2000
E-mail removed July 31, 2005 as no longer valid

HOME / CONTACT / HOW DO I HELP? / OLD FEEDBACK / EXPERIENCES / UPC MEMBERS SPEAK / ARTICLES / BOOKS / ISSUES / LOIS' WRITINGS / ORGANIZATIONS / OTHER SITES /
WHY THIS SITE? / STATEMENT OF BELIEFS / WHAT IS SPIRITUAL ABUSE? / OPEN LETTER /
UPC BELIEFS / HISTORY OF UPC / APOSTOLIC CONGRESS / DEVOTIONALS/  SUPPORT GROUP/