Ten Things To Do If You Have A Cult Victim In Your Family
- This is NOT a family disgrace. It can happen to anybody and is
really a back-handed compliment to parents who did the right thing and
raised their child to be independent of them and an idealist who wants a
- Don't nag, preach or lecture to the cult victim. Chances are the
cult has already told him that you will do this and that this is a sign
that they are in the one true channel or on the true road to freedom or
in gods true church. He will take just so much and reject the rest as
- Guard against the holier-than-thou or martyr-like attitude. It is
possible to create this impression without saying a word. An cult
victims sensitivity is such that he judges other peoples attitudes
toward him more by small things than by outspoken words.
- Don't use the if-you-love-me appeal. Since the cult victim doesn't
believe that you love him as much as the group does or God does anyway
this won't work!!
- Avoid any threats. There may be times when a specific action is
necessary to protect under-age children but idle threats only make the
cult victim believe you don't mean what you say.
- Don't destroy their books or tapes. Usually this only pushes the
cult victim further into the group and shows a disrespect for their
- Don't let the cult victim persuade you to join with him on the
grounds that it will help you understand him better. It rarely does more
than either make you angrier or gets you converted too. Wait until you
are educated enough to take this step. When you are fully prepared you
can then attend their meetings etc and discuss this with him rationally.
- Don't be jealous of the cult. The tendency is to think that love of
home and family is enough incentive for them to leave. It isn't. Mind
control is stronger than family ties.
- Do offer love, support and understanding to the cult victim during
the time in the cult, coming out of the cult and during recovery.
- Don't expect an immediate 100% recovery when they leave. In any
illness there is a period of convalescence. There may be relapses &
times of tension and resentment during their grief.
Cult Awareness & Information Centre
PO Box 2444
Mansfield Q 4122
This article originally appeared on the Cult Awareness & Information Centre out of Australia, which was run by the late Jan Groenveld. The article is reproduced as it was seen on Jan's site with some formatting changes.
August 23, 1997
Page added November 5, 2004
© 1997-2015 by Lois E. Gibson
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